Insanity List
by HaveSumCake
Summary: Neji, Tenten and Lee are forced to do a team scavenger hunt with a list made by Gai-sensei, Exept the objects on the list are not... normal scavenger hunt items. "Why do we have to find SAKURA for crying out loud!" Eventual NejiTen, Rated T for Teen...?


Hey! It's me! Aren't you excited! I suppose you're not, considering all I do on here is use my phone to surf around, but whatever.

This fic is dedicated to Wroathe, my muse - HI!

Things to know- I'm un-Beta'd so, please excuse the grammars!

I make random barricades for scene changes. I also vary between third person and first person… (I think)

ON WITH THE STORY!

Disclaimer – Don't even bother suing me, I don't have any money. (Runs away in fear)

_**NEJI**_

_Hatori Hanajima, a Water type ninja, has gone missing for the 3__rd__ time in four years, because of the relaxation of security in the Cerium district. He has been seen lately roaming random chain stores, because like everyone knows bad guys love those, Neji, and stealing tic-tacs and underwear. Nobody_

"Blumph." I snorted into my paper, as the words on the page between my hands changed for the third time, and I rubbed my hand against my eyes before shaking my head violently. I didn't know why my mind kept putting those words there, or how, but I figured it was because of lack of sleep.

Caffeine. Caffeine would fix everything.

Getting up from my desk, I glanced down the hallway towards the humming of the refrigerator. The trip between my room and the kitchen took much more time than it usually did, due to me crashing into someone that stepped in front of me.

"Oh, Tenten… sorry, *yawn* I was just going on a coffee break. Is something the matter?"

I didn't like the look she had on her face. " Did you read the article I gave you?"

"Article? I said woozily. "What… OH, yes, about Hanajima. Yeah, I read it." Kinda.

"Good." She smiled in her little panda-like way. 'Fitting' I thought sleepily to myself.

"We're finding him." Damn.

"Alright." I said tiredly, not showing my disappointment. Another mission after we got back. It was like gunfire, One after another, no time to rest. "When are we leaving? "

"Thursday." She sighed. "Four days." "Alright." I said again, awkwardly trying to step around her, but her arm was in the way. "Hmwaht?" I grumbled. "Tenten, I just wanna get coffee…" she smiled. "You don't need coffee, you need sleep." She said thoughtfully.

"I do not!" I said stubbornly, my subconscious protesting that yes, I really did.

"Mhm." She smirked, chuckling softly. "Fine, go get your coffee."

I grinned a very un-Neji-like grin and shuffled towards what I thought was the kitchen, but I just ended up bumping into Lee.

"RAAGH! GO AWAY, I HATE PEOPLE!" was what I meant to say, but because of the fact I was getting more and more tired as time went on, it just sounded like "Gitouttadawae"

Lee just stared at me, along with Tenten. I could tell what they were thinking. "Neji has never acted this way in his life."

What was going through my head was simply; "What are they doing in my house?"

As if reading my mind, Lee spoke up. "Gai-sensei is doing a new training exercise involving making lists!" He was obviously very excited. "We were told to take refuge in the nearest teammate's household, so as not to see!"

I sighed. What, Gai was afraid of me using Byakugan to see the list? Pfft.

"Right, Now move." He grinned and tapped my shoulder, still not getting out of the way. "I brought you Coffee, Neji!" he said in a singsong voice, and handed me a cup filled with the stuff.

I glared at him, but grudgingly took a sip, finding it very good. I grumbled a short "Hn" and turned towards Tenten. "So, Hanajima is doing… what, exactly?"

She had just opened her mouth to tell me when there was a loud bang from my kitchen, causing all three of us to turn around and stare at the new arrival.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said ecstatically, practically jumping up and down with excitement. "Hey there, Lee." The green-clad man in my kitchen bellowed. "I have completed your task, and I have created your list! It is required to do them all, or you will face the consequences!"

Tenten and I stared at each other. I could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

'He's not going to tell us, is he?'

But the ever-youthful Rock Lee didn't care, and had two tiny waterfalls on his cheeks in seconds. "I could not live with any regret that I did not complete a task…" he sobbed, and broke down completley without bothering to find out what, exactly, the consequence was.

Gai grinned and looked at each of us in turn, his caterpillar eyebrows going up and down, and handed us each a list. "These are the items you will locate and obtain!" He laughed, and ran off.

I blinked, then looked at the list. "What the hell…" I heard Tenten mutter next to me.

LIST OF YOUTHFULNESS

A hotel room key

A fresh rose

A bottle of sake

A Squirrel

A Juri katana

Sakura (Tenten groaned at this. "What does he want HER for?)

A box of Pocky

Kakashi's silver bells

A picture of a drunk teammate

I blinked. Tenten stared at her paper, seeming to try to will it into bursting into flames.

I adapted her method, and just as it wasn't about to, Lee burst into stronger tears, despair evident on his round face. "We have to bring Sakura?" Tenten didn't say much, just slumped onto the floor. "This is the most random list I have ever seen."

As exasperated as I felt, I didn't let it show, I just frowned slightly and put the list in my back pocket. The caffeine had helped.

"We need to go over these item by item." I said slowly. "The first item on the list is what?"

Lee was quick to respond. "A hotel room key, Rival Neji." Tenten spoke up from her place on the floor. "We need to be eighteen to do that." I groaned. I'm eighteen, but I wasn't about to say that. Luckily, someone else had the opposite idea. "I'm eighteen!" Lee shouted enthusiastically. "I can do that, my blossom!" Tenten smiled feebly.

"Well, I suppose we should start now." She sighed.

_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_!_ (A/N - I'm so clever, with my happy little barricades!)

"Lee, what the hell are you wearing?" Tenten grimaced. Lee was dressed in what can only be described as a "Christmas sweater" and shorts that went down to his knees. Duly noted he was also wearing his green atrocity underneath. My eyes hurt. "I figured I could have a disguise!" he said happily, scratching behind his neck and grinning.

"You're just renting a hotel room! Why do you need a disguise?" Tenten said tiredly. Lee frowned. "We aren't undercover?" There was a squeal from behind him, and then a flash of purple and platinum blonde. "Oh hooray, Ino's here." I managed to say before "OH-my-GOSH Lee, what are you wearing?" was practically screamed into my teammates ear. Lee shifted uncomfortably. "Ah, Ino-chan, yes I'm, uh, wearing a-" Ino didn't let him finish. "You guys are seriously going on an undercover mission with him dressed like" -She waved her hand at him dismissivley- "THAT?"

"Oh heck no." Tenten said nervously, coughing a bit. "Lee's a bit... off... on our mission directive."  
>Ino decided to disregard this particular piece of information. "Lee's coming with me, now. if you'll excuse us, Tenten-chan, neji-san." Lee gave me a desperate look, not wanting to be hauled off with the gossip girl of konoha. "Ahm" I sighed, not really caring where the normally green-clad ninja went. "Is this really-" she cut me off. "Necessary?" She smiled sweetly, looking poor Lee up and down."yes. goodbye." and then she stomped (excuse me, skipped) off into a very evil-looking sunset, leaving TenTen and I to watch after them and blink dejectedly.<p>

And they hadn't even found the first thing on the list.

This was going to be more trouble than it was worth.

And There it is! The first installment of Insanity!

Neji, Tenten and Lee are forced to do a team scavenger hunt with a list made by Gai-sensei. exept the objects on the list are not... normal scavenjer hunt Items. "Why do we have to find SAKURA for crying out loud?" Eventual NejiTen, Rated T for... Teen...?

A/N – when I was typing this out, my computer thought that "Gai-Sensei" meant "Gay-Sensei", and tried to correct me, and being a teenager I thought it was hilarious.

This has no particular time period… Sasuke left, but that's about it.

You see that pretty little button? The purple-blue one? If you click on it you get free cookies.


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